Published on November 17th, 2012 | by djprophetic1
Even the Toughest of Men Need a Place to Cry
Even the Toughest of Men Need a Place to Cry (An article for Real Men)
Sometimes I feel so sorry for us men, because so much is expected of us and often times we are not able to meet all of those expectations. From the time we were young boys, most of us were probably told to stop crying when we got hurt or told that “boys don’t cry.” As we entered high school, crying around other guys was unheard of, and if you did you were probably called a punk (and other terms too vulgar to mention). Then you go into college or into the work place and your expected to be a man that has control of your emotions. For those that are married, your wife probably expects you be the “Man of the House” and with that title you are supposed to know how to do everything. If you’re a father, you’re expected to be a superhero that shows no weakness. It’s time to tell the truth and take off the masks because it’s not reality; even “tough” men need a place to cry.
What’s intriguing is that most of us (men) are expected to manage our emotions and be strong but most of us probably had no one teach us how. Think about it, who taught you emotional control? Probably fathers, male mentors, and role models who weren’t taught either. So the cycle continues… Men worldwide are being culturally conditioned by phrases such as: “Suck it up”, “don’t be a wimp”, “show no weakness”, and “man up.” Men this is killing us literally, take a look at these stats from Web MD:
- Coronary artery disease (CAD) is three times higher among men who are clinically depressed.
- Male suicides outnumber female suicides in every age group.
- Homicide and suicide are among the top three causes for death among males between the ages of 15 and 34.
- By the age of 85, women outnumber men in the U.S. 2.2 to 1; this rises to 3 to 1 if they reach their 90s.
- women now live 80.1 years, compared to men’s’ 74.8 years
Fellas, the women are outliving us because they understand their emotional side and express it well (…sometimes too well). In comparison to women, men are generally more likely to solve emotional issues with logic whereas women embrace their emotional side more effectively but we still have emotional issues we have to deal with. It is said that men naturally process things internally while women process things internally. When something is going wrong in your life- your girl, your wife, your kids or your family comes to you and cries on your shoulder. Who’s shoulder do you cry on? You’ve got issues, you’ve got problems but everybody expects you to be “The Man” and you are not allowed to be weak. Something has got to change- you need someone who you can express your issues to and somebody to hold you when you cry; somebody that won’t look at you as if your weak.
That someone you can cry out to is God, and He wants to listen to our every issue, every pain, and every hurt. Let’s be honest we don’t have enough logic to understand all the things we go through and sometimes life just doesn’t make sense. Sometimes you want to cry but you hold it in because you don’t want to be seen as weak. The truth is it takes a real man to cry and acknowledge that he doesn’t know it all. Any man can put on a mask and act like they’ve got it together, but only a strong man can come out boldly and declare “God I need your help”! King David the warrior who defeated Goliath said, in Psalms 57:2 “I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills [his purpose] for me.” He also states in Psalm 88:1 “O Lord, the God who saves me, day and night I cry out to you.” The world and our culture are never going to tell you to cry out because the media and the world want to destroy the true definition of a man by making you think men shouldn’t cry.
Be clear I’m not saying we should go out in a rage and stay angry, upset, and dejected all the time because the Word also says “He who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28. So the key is to go to God and pour our hearts out to Him, I suggest writing letters to God. I’ve been doing this for years and it has helped me cope with a lot of challenges over the years. Men I pray you stay strong and know that your true strength is shown through enduring weakness not denying that you have weaknesses. God told Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:9 that “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”