Published on December 18th, 2012 | by djprophetic


5 Things I Would Say to Those Hurting From the Shooting at Sandy Hook

5 Things I Would Say to Those Hurting From the Shooting at Sandy Hook

(A tribute to those affected by the Sandy Hook Elementary Shooting)

Blessed are those that mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Matthew 5:4

Sandy Hook Victims


We are all aware of the shooting that took place at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut. A gunman opened fire at the elementary school on December 14th, killing 26 people — 20 of them children. All of the children were either 6 or 7 years old. My heart sympathizes for all the families who lost a loved one in this horrific tragedy. I’m sure a lot of the families and friends are wondering where do we go from here? What do we do next? How do we deal with this? I may not have the all the right words to say but here are five things I would like to say to those that are hurting right now.

#1 Being shocked is part of grieving

It is natural to be shocked when a catastrophic event takes place especially in the case of the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. Victims may be thinking, “This can’t be reality”, “When am I going to wake up from this dream?” Shock is actually a protective mechanism to prevent you from taking on too much emotional pain at once. When my brother died earlier this year, I was in shock until I saw his body at the viewing. Funerals and viewings help one to accept the reality of death.

#2 Feeling guilty and taking on the blame is natural

“If I had only done this.” “I wish I would have said this to him/her.” “I shouldn’t have taken them to school.” “I should have followed my gut.” These are all statements you may say to yourself because of the guilt and pain- even though it is not your fault. You will feel this for some time but we should understand that we are not responsible for senseless acts and the irrational behavior of others.

#3 Everybody grieves differently

Just as people are motivated in different ways, people also grieve in different ways. Some will be very angry (rightfully so) depressed, lonely, bitter, quiet, or withdrawn. No matter how you express your emotions, make sure to express your feelings; don’t leave them inside.  Don’t feel ashamed for crying, moaning, groaning, or any other outward expression. It is healthy for you to let it out. It’s also important for you not to avoid the grieving process because you will eventually have to face it. And if you don’t, you will hurt others who want to get close to you.  Within your own family, one person might be more expressive and one person might be a little more reserved; you are both grieving just in different ways so don’t try to judge how another grieves.

#4 Stay around loved ones

It’s in times like this when we realize how interdependent we are. When family and friends reach out to you, want to embrace you, and call you, receive it because that may be the very thing that gets you through this trying time. You still may feel alone and think nobody knows what you’re going through, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect the comfort of others. Often times when grieving, it’s not the words that people say that bring the most comfort, it’s the nonverbal actions shown with a heart of love, compassion, and sympathy. When you go through this difficult time, it’s not the words that you will remember. It’s the presence of those who cared about you that will come to mind.

#5 Your time of grieving won’t last forever

In this process of grieving, the memories of your loved one will never leave you. It’s only the pain of that loss that subsides. Years from now you may have the scars from losing your loved one, but you won’t feel as much pain as you do now. There is nothing in this world that is as constant as change. Ecclesiastes 3:4, “A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” Although it may feel like this pain will last forever, it won’t. But you must make sure you allow yourself to go through the grieving process completely or else you will cause harm to yourself and those around you.

To the parents, teachers, staff, families, friends, and community of Newtown, Connecticut, my heart goes out to you and I am praying for you and believing that God will comfort you through this shocking and unfortunate tragedy.

Here are some encouraging scriptures to Read: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 2 Corinthians 7:6, Psalms 147:3, John 16:33, Jeremiah 31:13


Book: A time to Grieve by Kenneth C. Haugk


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