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Published on March 27th, 2013 | by Nathaniel

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Sex & Purity: Mannie Gets Real about Commitment

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I’m not going to lie; the word “commitment” sometimes makes me cringe. I think commitment is great when you’re committed to achieving career goals, health goals, or even personal goals but in relationships? I’ve realized the problem I have with commitment is that I don’t commit to everything that deserves a commitment. The topic of committing to one person used to scare me like no other. I got married at 18 years old, when I was in the military, because I thought I wanted to commit to that one person. The moment times got rough and I felt the need to end it, I got a divorce. The marriage was doomed to fail from the start. First and foremost, I didn’t get married before The Lord. Second, my family didn’t come down to witness my marriage. Honestly, they all sat back in silent protest of it. Last but not least, I wasn’t committed to having sex with just one person for the rest of my life. I can equate my sex life to 5 simple pop culture references and I ask you to bare with me as I coast down memory lane.

 

1.” I Be Forever Mackin” -Jay-Z

Man, when Jay-Z said this you couldn’t tell me that he wasn’t speaking to 17 year old me. I had just lost my virginity to a girl. Till this day, I can’t even remember her name. I took what was supposed to be something special and made it shallow. I was like, this is life; I don’t have to worry about getting hurt. I lived like this until I was about 23 years old minus the married days because I did stay faithful up until we got legally separated. The minute I signed those papers I was just trying to get my numbers up- see how many sexual partners I could have in my lifetime. This was a shallow time in my life and didn’t realize how many people I hurt in that process. I realized that not even Jay-Z could keep up with this line in reality.

2. “You Only Get 3 Great Women in Your Lifetime” -Sonny from Bronx Tale

This line sticks in my head because during those sexually impure times, how many good women did I crush or ignore? I am 28 years old now and I’m having a rough time on the dating scene and I honestly question, is this God’s payback? I wouldn’t be mad if it is because you reap what you sow.

3. Kat Williams on Singleness

This reference isn’t necessarily a quote, but it’s Katt Williams talking about being the only single person left in your group. You go out every night and make fun of friends that have girlfriends but when you go home, there you are crying and praying you meet a good woman. This joke is so true. Even when I was sleeping around, I was empty. The girls I liked didn’t really like me and vice versa. They read right through my shallowness. During this time, I learned a lot about myself. I’m still growing everyday because I am checking in with myself.

4. ” Alisha’s Number is Worth 10 of Them Girls in There” -Roland from The Wood

You will meet your match in life, just trust; it will come when you least expect it. This person will singlehandedly change your mind about how you feel about love. You think about them and you light up with joy. Take this blessing and realize that she is better for you than 100 women you could possibly sleep with..

5. “So, I Typed a Text to a Girl I Used to See, Sayin That I Chose this Cutie Pie with Whom I Wanna Be” -Andre 3000

I think I’ve come full circle and now that I’m approaching 30 years old, I realize more than ever, I should have chosen a different path. The promiscuity aspect is something that I believe is out of my system. When I do get that one, I will treat her like the queen she is. Every man should appreciate his wife because a vow is only breakable by death.

I’m not a saint by any means, but be real with yourself in the decisions you make sexually. Sex is not intended for our selfish pleasure. The essence of it should be a spiritual bond as much as it is physical.

 

-Mannie Ramos Jr.

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