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Published on April 18th, 2013 | by Nathaniel


Men Have Insecurities Too?


When our Director of Social Media Encouragement, Sonia Harris, emailed out the list of April themes and topics for Being Encouraged, I immediately scanned through and found “Validation,” “Insecurities,” and “Springing into Transformation/ The Beauty Within.” Honestly, I had to question if she was diabolically plotting to find ways to sever my manhood. After taking a few days to watch wrestling, drink my organic coconut milk…from the carton, and not shower, I came back to the list and knew that covering a topic such as “insecurities” was going to require brutal honesty. Here’s to what’s left of my ego. Thanks Sonia.

Ladies, just so you know, men have insecurities too and of course we try to overcompensate, as evidenced by the epic comedy movie, Zoolander, starring Ben Stiller. In the movie, Derek Zoolander (Stiller) is an off-beat fashion model turned assassin who has an sky-high, yet fragile ego. This made me think, how are we, as men, insecure? When you ask us what’s going on during a sports game, we explain it to you in the most complicated way to hide the fact that we sometimes don’t know either. When you ask us what dress looks better, we answer indifferently because the truth is we really have a meticulous opinion but because of our manhood, we want you to think otherwise.

The list goes on:

1) Grunting in the gym- our official “I’m beyond Man” call…because we’re struggling with the 10 pounders
2) Driving trucks…in a big city…to hide the fact that we’re bumping some Taylor Swift
3) Devouring T-Bone ounce by ounce…to redeem the fluffy cupcake we had at lunch
4) Purposely tightening the salsa jar…so you can concede to asking us for help
5) Pretending we don’t know who Sherri Shepherd is…to hide the fact that we sometimes watch “The View”
6) Complaining when you take us to Ikea…even though we’re secretly looking for something to liven up the walls
7) Claiming that we thought “The Hunger Games” was the sequel to “Brave Heart”
8) Nonchalantly stealing your dark chocolate…so you don’t know we’re also counting calories
9) Not bringing you flowers…not because we didn’t think about it…but because we couldn’t decide on lilacs or orchids
10) Burning water…so you don’t know that we’ve been through the Martha Stewart Academy of Fine Cooking

So as you can see, the list runs deep…Women have a tendency to be more vocal about their insecurities, verbalizing them in Dove commercials and such. Men don’t have outlets readily available. Thus, the reason we walk around with puffed up egos pretending we are insecurity-less. In a previous post, “For Men Who Struggle…” (, I went head to head about who the world says we’re supposed to be as men and who the bible says we’re supposed to be. I take pride in training myself to be physically and mentally strong but I realize that my tenacity will always pale in comparison to who the world expects me to be as a man.

We, as a society, create these capstone ideals of who we, as men and women, are supposed to be. And we then beat ourselves down with the recognition that we don’t “measure-up.” The truth is that every human being has insecurities. Moses feared public speaking. Peter had trust issues. David, the mighty warrior poet, had insecurity in the decisions that he made, so much so that he killed a man. No man is immune to humanity. However, how we respond to our lack is what determines our character and the trajectory of our manhood. Compensation through a poor attitude and low self-esteem leads to the idolization and worship of other men. Compensation through ego leads to narcissism and vanity. But compensation through God and sourcing His breath through the way we live leads to a type of manhood that exercises self-control, humility, and internal peace.

Genesis 2:7

“Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.”

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