Published on November 8th, 2013 | by djprophetic


If You Don’t Know Your Love Language, You Will Abuse it Like I Did

If You Don’t Know Your Love Language, You Will Abuse it Like I did


I used to pick on people. I made fun of girls until they were in tears. I embarrassed people for the fun of it. Why, you ask? Because I got teased a lot in high school; I had to become good at it, and naturally I became really good at it. We called it “roasting” and we made it a sport, a way of life. Sadly, I didn’t realize my words were leaving negative imprints on peoples minds, self esteem, and image. It was sad to find out some of the people I used to “roast” still remember a lot of the hurtful words I so easily spewed out. It wasn’t until I found out how I am wired to love that I eliminated this behavior.

My skills, if you can call them that, got to a point that roasting I was all I thought about- I even made it my goal to develop a network for roasting. I started a Myspace group back in 2005 called “Roasting Session.” This group started with a few of my friends and rapidly grew even after I left the group. The purpose of the group was to make fun of people using creativity, pictures, and witty punch lines. I had friends calling me from different cities telling me they were going to kill the person who roasted them in the group if they ever met.

Something that started out as light-hearted fun grew to a tool of dissension, threats, and stirred hatred. Why did I do these things? Because I didn’t understand that one of my primary love languages (as Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of the book, The Five Love Languages classifies it) is “Words of Affirmation.” This means that I was using the inverse of my love language, when at the root, I desired to build and lift people up with affirming words. I had no idea that the love language of words of affirmation was embedded within me.

As Dr. Myles Munroe (world reknown speaker and expert on purpose), says,“When the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable.” I abused my gift of encouragement and perverted it by seeking to discourage and humiliate people  with my words instead of encouraging and lifting them up. It might be the same for you. If you don’t know how you receive and transmit love, you will naturally do the inverse.That’s why we created this site because I wanted to use my love language to encourage people and help them become who God called them to be God has given you the ability to express love in different ways. Your love language is a gift to bless others so discover yours and use it wisely!

Quiz Today and find our your love language today so you don’t misuse it and abuse it like I did:

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