Published on February 7th, 2014 | by Nathaniel


What Women Really Want?

what women want

On the horizon of Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d take a little time to play Dr. Love… Kidding… Far from that. But real talk- I think nearly every man has wrestled, grappled, and entered a tug-of-war in his attempts to understand what women really want. So if you’re a woman and you’re reading this- thank you for being the beautiful, complex gem of a creature that you are.

Over the course of cinema and television, there have been feeble attempts to understand you- What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, Oprah, anything from early 2000’s UPN, and every Lifetime movie ever made. Think about it comparatively- there are very few major television networks specifically geared toward men- you got your ESPN, Fox Sports, and Comedy Central. But there’s an extra thick portfolio of networks (We TV, E!, Bravo, HGTV) attempting through their existence to say, “You’re a woman? We know what you want!”

And good for them… but I’m still confused. Without delving into my relationship history, I came to the conclusion last year that maybe we as a society put too much pressure on the subject of “dating,” which in its current, liberal form is still a relatively new concept. It’s something that’s been so commercialized and engrained in this new wave of societal upbringing that our formerly innocent children have years of committed experience before they even hit puberty. And what this does for guys in particular is more debilitating…

understanding-womenDon’t get me wrong- men have been trying to impress women for centuries, and that hasn’t changed in modern dating. But dating also necessitates the C-word… “communication.”  And that creates an extra barrier. Why? Because we’ve been conditioned to think we’re supposed to be the extra suave, smooth, confident, Casanova, hunter-provider, direct- go and get it, strapping John of a guy. And because of that, we hide those sincere, vulnerable feelings, which we’ve never really been good at expressing any way. You see the chasm? Modern dating demands a level of intimacy that isn’t necessarily our natural state. And in the process of getting to know a woman, we sometimes fall short when it comes to understanding her needs for communication.

So what do women really want? Well, if I knew that answer I’d patent it, hire a distributor, and buy the world… But the truth? I think men and women both have a sincere desire to enter an honest relationship. A relationship where both parties know where each other stands- one in which the perceptions, expectations, and realities are as equally yolked as possible. And sorry to break it down like this fellas- the only way to achieve that? Open, honest, communication.



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