Blog Ashley Chatman

Published on February 17th, 2014 | by Ashley Chatman

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Addiction: How Ashley is Breaking Her Addiction to Junk Food

Addiction:How Ashley is Breaking Her Addiction to Junk Food

Ashley Chatman

This year I came to a horrible realization; it’s a realization that I’ve tried to avoid, and even now it’s something that I don’t want to fully accept. Yet no matter how much I try to ignore it, it remains continuously in my face. This problem is something I’ve struggled with for many years now.

(Exhale) I realized that I have an addiction…to fatty foods: cheeseburgers, chicken sandwiches, breads, French-fries, pizza, pork, soda, hot dogs, burritos, tacos, baked foods, fried foods, candy, sweets, chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate (did I mention chocolate?). And they all have one thing in common… .they eventually end up at the bottomless abyss called my belly. I crave fatty foods. I dream of fatty foods. I feel alive (minus the heartburn) when I eat fatty foods. In fact, just this past month, I committed to a “nourishing” diet that consisted of combo meals from Burger King, McDonalds and KFC. If I could spend every waking moment allowing my tastes buds to venture on a yummy roller coaster of junky goodness, I would be so fine with that.

While stuffing my face uncontrollably sounds appealing, I’m learning that it has some very unappealing side effects.  I recently weighed myself and discovered that I gained 12 pounds in a few short weeks. Like most people, I double checked my scale to make sure it wasn’t broken, but alas, the scale didn’t lie…I gained weight…and it was so easy…too easy… I know what you’re thinking: “It’s just a few pounds, it’s not that bad. You can work it off later.” However, gaining weight isn’t the reason why I am so upset; it’s knowing that my actions are leading me back to a place I promised myself I would never return to.

For those who don’t know, my mother passed away from an unknown cancer 3 years ago. While she was medically considered “overweight,” she led a very healthy lifestyle and forced me and my siblings to be super conscious of our health growing up. The day she passed changed everything for me. It made realize the importance of health and doing all you can to ensure you live a long, healthy life.

That experience was the greatest motivator that jumpstarted my journey to health and fitness. While on this journey, I was able to lose close to 40 pounds and get in the best shape of my life. I made a promise to her and myself not to regress and those measly 12 pounds have pushed me 10 steps behind the woman I want to become inside and out. More importantly, I realized the true cause behind my excessive unhealthy eating. I use it as a means to cope with the painful, stressful, difficult moments in my life instead of allowing God to deal with me and heal me in those areas. Instead of facing my problems head on, I bury them in food hoping the comfort of my consumption will somehow ease the discomfort in my heart.

However, no matter how hard I try, food can never treat me or handle me the way God can. I will never truly be satisfied until I surrender and allow Him to completely fill me up. With that said, in the words of Ms. Diana Ross, “I’m coming out! I want the world to know!” I’m breaking the generational curse of the health related illnesses in my family by taking control of my body and what goes into my body.  I am releasing my mind, body, heart, soul and stomach to God and I am confident that through this surrender He will help me to get a hold of my addiction.If you’re like me and you’re struggling with food, your weight, bad habits, or having a healthier mindset, please don’t be discouraged. Take some time to discover what is holding you back and work each day to let go of it. Find comfort in knowing you are not alone and with God, ANYTHING is possible. Most of all, be thankful of who are you because who you are right now is spectacular and the best stepping stone for who you’ll eventually become.

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