Published on May 17th, 2014 | by Nathaniel


5 Reasons Why You Should Not Get a Puppy…

People who know me best know that I’m a pretty analytical decision maker. I’m one of those people who researches what he’s going to buy online, checks price comparisons in person, and then goes to Craigslist for the kill. So when I brought my mom a 6-week old puppy last week after being persuaded by a guy in a Winco parking lot, you could say it was a bit uncharacteristic.

My mom (not the most-avid animal-lover) wasn’t too thrilled either. After nearly falling to the floor out of the pure shock (it probably didn’t help that I stuck the pupster in her face while she was sleeping), she said there was “No way” on God’s green earth that she would be keeping him.

So therein lies my current predicament. I brought Meatball (yes, that’s his name) to a single-sized apartment (where I can’t actually keep pets), unaware of just how much he would need and how much he would help me realize. Having a puppy is a great metaphor for our relationship with our Creator and unless you’re ready for some pretty mind-blowing revelations, here are 5 reasons why you should not get a puppy:


1. Puppies (Like Humans) Have a Tendency to “Scat” in Places That Should Not be Scattered:
Maybe I was a little disillusioned, but I guess I was unaware of just how much puppies need to “release” themselves. And yes, disinfectant has become an ally in this process. It was just a couple of days ago that I woke up to go to the bathroom (I’ve been trying to keep Meatball in the bathroom for periods when he’s bad) and the tile was literally covered in “dog-stuff.” Since he had been crying to come out by pawing up the bottom of the door, it was also covered in “puppy-love.” Like puppies, we sometimes don’t realize that our current situation is a result of us ignorantly walking through our own mess, making it even bigger. It’s only when we commit to constant spiritual and self-reflection that we become aware of just how we’ve “tiled” up the tile.

2. Puppies (Like Humans) Require Direct Communication and Comfort from Their Provider:
I thought it would be easy to leave the little guy at home while I went to work and while I slept, but it’s amazing just how needy he is. He paces after my feet, attempts to follow me into the shower, and relies on me for food and water. Aren’t our needs from our Provider the same? We too have an internal dependence for a close relationship with our God. The only difference is many of us have convinced ourselves that we are self-dependent, that we can “pooper-scoop” after ourselves.


3. Puppies (Like Humans) Often Don’t Understand the Nature of Discipline:
It seems like Meatball relies on his undeniable “cutenosity” to get him out of sticky situations. He hasn’t yet realized that peeing on my carpet and using my boxers as chewing gum have consequences (i.e. bathroom confinement) that he may not like. However, over time it’s these consequences that will mature him. If you’re like me, then maybe you’ve also had trouble accepting God’s discipline in certain areas of your life. We push and fight it because it’s hard and it hurts. But trust that this discipline will bring us into ultimate glory with Big Pops.

4. Puppies (Like Humans) Need to Learn to Use Provisions/Blessings Responsibly:
Part of my difficulty with Meatball leaving his little meatball droppings all over was realizing that he could not be trusted with a full bowl of food. I would fill up his bowl and he would eat past his needs, only to scat around my apartment. God often entrusts us with provisions and blessings, but left up to us, we overuse them.

5. Puppies (Like Humans) Can Learn to Adapt to Their Environment:
When I first got Meatball his carrier and carried him in it from Bakersfield to LA, the kid hated it with a ferocious, pit-bull passion. But now he’s actually grown to like the comfort of resting in his own space. A lot of times, we fear change and new environments, but if we learn to accept change, we see that there are new opportunities that come with it.


Now, 5 Reasons Why You Should Get a Puppy:
1. They have the ability to attract beautiful women from up to 50 yards away.
2. They help you take your mind off of yourself.
3. They also dance to top-40 radio.
4. They will keep your dad from telling you his repetitive life-lessons.
5. They make interesting “bird-chicken” squeals when provoked.


Sidenote: Currently in the process of finding the best home for Meatball! Let me know if you have any other leads!


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